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Monday 17 [March 1806]
Yesterday I preached twice with freedom
and satisfaction and I trust some [g]ood was done in the
Name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. My soul
seems to be athirst for more of God. I often catch my heart
wandering from God in Prayer which is a grief to my mind. A
temptation has got hold of me which I have not felt for
these some months. A neglect of the present [ms. torn] the
prospect of some future good. But I am striv[i]ng to right
it, it being an effectual means of [ms. torn] my contentment
and peace. A conten[te]d mind, saith Solomon, is a Continual
feast [Prov
15.15], a [ms. torn]ong which I have been much blessed
with and [ms. torn] I believe to be inseparably connected
with [ms. torn] I know there is such a thing as a fal[se]
contentment, which is the result of Sloth; but what has this
to do with a Christian. If through the neglect of our duty
we are brought into troubles, we sit down contented and
gracily [graciously] say this is my lot, the Providence of
God would have it so; we have then got a false peace. But if
we are then uneasy it is not the Devil tempting of us, but
our own hearts which condemn us, and God is greater than our
hearts, who will surely condemn us. But if we perform our
duty to God and our Neighbor, we have then a right to look
by faith to God through Christ as Christians, for his
blessings, and whatever God sees fit to give us we are to be
content with it. O Lord help me to follow the leadings of my
Judgement, lest out of my own [ms. torn] I be condemned.
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