Hey, I’m Yasaman! I’m in my fifth and final year as a double major in Law and Philosophy, which means I spend a lot of time overanalyzing everything, from justice systems to why we all have existential crises at 2 AM. I thrive on deep, mind-bending conversations, whether I’m debating ideas with a friend in the middle of the night or wrestling with them on paper. Reading and writing are my way of making sense of the world, and if I stumble across something mind blowing, you can bet I’ll be telling everyone about it!
Often, our brains struggle to reconcile the words “failure” and “happiness”. We tend to view them as opposites, two sides of the same coin that is our life. However, I'm here to challenge that notion and suggest a reboot of our thinking. Failures are inevitable. They are not pleasant, but they are absolutely necessary. Before delving into why failures are crucial, let’s consider the subjective nature of failure. What one person sees as a setback, another might view as a victory. This isn't about setting lofty expectations, though those can lead to disappointment. It's about recognizing that each of us is on a unique journey, shaping our own definitions of failure and success.
A few years ago, I might have defined failure simply as not meeting a goal. Now, I see it as "an unpleasant yet necessary lesson." This shift in perspective is key. Effort without the desired outcome is undoubtedly disappointing, but it also presents an opportunity. You have the power to reshape that experience, to find value in the setback, and to try again with new insights.
Think of it this way: we need both pain and pleasure to fully appreciate life's peaks. Without challenges, the highs would not feel as rewarding. A life of constant positivity might seem ideal, but in reality, it would lack depth, and in my personal opinion a bit dystopian. A flatline in a world that thrives on dynamic change, like a heart monitor. Imagine the lines on the monitor in your mind, it’s always moving up and down. If the line were to flatten out, showing only uniform movement without ups and downs, it would signify a flatline, which is medically recognized as an indicator of death. And that’s how I view life, we need to experience all the ups and downs or we’re not truly living. Pain deepens our capacity for joy because it frames our successes, not as givens, but as triumphs over our struggles.
Now enter stoicism, an ancient philosophy I encountered in a class that has significantly shaped my thinking. Stoicism teaches that while we can't control external events, we can control our reactions to them. Epictetus, one of the many stoic philosophers alongside other icons such as Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Cato (the Elder), contributed to this school of thought. Epictetus, who was more interested in the moral aspect of stoicism rather than its theories, heavily emphasized on defining what we can control; such as our emotions, desires, and judgments, and letting go of what we cannot, which is everything else external to us such as our bodies, wealth, fame, sickness, death, and etc. This mindset is a powerful tool for facing life's inevitable challenges.
By understanding and applying stoic principles, you can transform how you handle life's ups and downs. Failure and pain, when viewed through this lens, are not merely obstacles but opportunities for growth and learning. When faced with setbacks, ask yourself, "What can I learn from this?" This reflective practice can reveal valuable lessons, turning seeming defeats into steps toward success.
And form a blueprint for you, if you will. Our failures consistently highlight the steps necessary to attain success. So, I urge you to see life in shades of gray rather than just black and white. Appreciate the complexity and beauty of its twists and turns, and recognize the strength in your response to them. For those interested in exploring this further, I highly recommend diving into stoic philosophy to discover a deeper, more resilient approach to life, because my simple explanation of it does not do it justice. Epictetus’s book Enchiridion of Epictetus, would be a pretty good starting point.
In conclusion, failure is a part of life; embrace it, learn from it, and let it propel you forward.