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[Retrospective entry: October 1802]
[...] for help, he opened the door, and
marched away. None of these things moved me nor turned me
aside from my duty. Nothing pained me so much in this place,
as the malconduct of some who made high pretension to piety
and under its guise practiced abominations, by which the
cause of God was wounded, and some, who were serious, were
turned out of the way. My youth and inexperience exposed me
to many impositions and some importunities. Some expressions
which I used, on particular occasions in preaching, I use[d]
by no means justly, although I thought at the time I did
right. Young preachers need the council [counsel] of the
wise, the good, and the aged. But I know God gave me a
sincere desire to glorify his Name, and seek the salvation
of souls; but my zeal was not always tempered with that
knowledge, which is necessary to teach us so to ask that our
good many not be evil spoken of. My soul, nevertheless, was
kept from sinning against God & from any other desire than
to do his sacred will. After I ended my
sermon one day, a plain man arose and spoke afterwards in
substance as follows — That since he had been hearing he had
had a great travel of soul to speak of the mystery of the
Angel mentioned in the revelations, flying through the midst
of heaven having the everlasting Gospel to preach to them
that dwell on the earth; which Gospel, he said he had heard,
and exhorted the people to take heed of it [cf.
2 Cor 12.2]. In conversation
with him afterwards, he acknowledged the Quakers were a
fallen people. I found, however, that he was not an approved
member among them; although I have no doubt he had
experienced the love of God. There being a
large settlement of these people on Young-street I had
frequent appointments of conversing with them and read many
of their books. One day, passing the house in which they
convened for worship, and understanding it was their
appointed day, I stopped and went in. I sat down and one of
the women (There being only two females present) said,
"Friend, if thou has any to say we are willing to hear
thee." I replyed "I have something at present." The people
being collected, and having sat in silence some time, this
woman rose and said, "There is a woe[?] gone forth
against false ministers," and then sat down. After a while
she rose again and said, "I judge no one, and if there be
none here let this preacher a watch [ink blot]." As there were none in
the house, who bore the characteristic of a minister but
myself, I concluded she was pointing at me. When they
commenced shaking hands, which is a token of closing their
worship, I rose, and said "Whence the spirit of the Lord is,
there is Liberty — and if there be no objections, I have a
desire to speak." After a few minutes passed they sat down
again, as I supposed giving me thereby Liberty to proceed. I
mentioned those words The spirit itself bearest witness
with our spirits that we are the children of God [Rom
8.6]; and
spoke on them perhaps about 15 minutes. Ceasing to speak,
one by the name of Timothy Magers rose and said, "As thou
has spoken to us, I am [...]
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