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[Retrospective entry:] May 1812
To exhibit in active life a zeal
proportionate to the knowledge we acquire by ardent
application of the mind to useful studies in private is the
way, not only to treasure up sound wisdom, but also, to make
a practical, and useful application of it. These
observations are not made, because the writer is possessed
of all those qualifications, which are here recommended, nor
because he has applied himself with the assiduity which
ought to mark the conduct of every true minister; but
because he feels the want, and sees the necessity of active
diligence in every department of ministerial duty, in order
[to be] useful here, and happy here after.
[Section of ms. torn.] We who were
stationed together in this City had the happiness of
labouring in the vineyard of our gracious Lord, with great
harmony, and with considerable success. Many souls were, it
is believed, converted to God, and several hundred were
added to the Church. My heart was cordially united to the
people; and although I met, in the commencement of my work,
with some spirited opposition in the exercise of the
discipline, from some individuals, I was much encouraged by
the united aid and support of the Preachers, and majority of
the members. This year, 1812, May 1st our
General Conference was held in the city of New York. June
5th following our annual Conference convened in the city of
Albany. [Section of ms. torn detailing
Bangs's volunteering for service in Lower Canada. See link
to autobiography in right pane.]
Consulting with them [Bishops Asbury and M'Kendree], it was finally concluded not
prudential or expedient for me to proceed on to Montreal.
Accordingly I hired a room with Br Sandford in Troy. My mind
was considerably embarrassed, in consequence of this
unexpected disappointment; but I endeavoured to improve my
time in the best way I could. There were calls enough for
Preaching, but no opening for a competent support; however,
the Lord was mindful of us, and sent us supplies.
Having considerable leisure time, I commenced writing an
Essay on the reasonableness of Christianity. This
subject had rested on my mind with weight for several years;
but a belief of my insufficiency to do it justice hitherto
prevented its execution — And, although I have since
completed the essay, according to my first intention, I have
not yet felt a freedom to expose it to public view. I wish
the advice of some judicious friends, which, I dare not ask.
It is possible that, at some future period, it may see the
light, which I hope, it may not darken. If it never have any
other use, it had a tendency to enlarge, and quicken my own
soul. While in Troy I had various
solicitations from my friends in New York, and particularly
from Mr. Garettson [sic] presiding elder of New York District to
come south. Accordingly about the middle of September, I set
off[,] took a sloop at Albany, and sailed to Tarry Town, I was
arrested with the Dysentery, very violently. Although we had
no home, we were received by a friend, and treated in a very
affectionate manner. I was confined about 4 or 5 weeks, a
part of which time, I suffered the most excruciating pain.
Being so far recovered, as to be able, we removed to
Bedford; and in a short time I was strengthened to take the
circuit. I found myself in the midst of a very kind and
affectionate people, who strove to make me, and my family as
comfortable as possible. People do not generally consider
how much their tokens of friendship, has a tendency to bind
the heart of a preacher to them. These people did not merely
say go, and be there warmed, and be there clothed,
but they gave me the things I stood in need of [cf.
Jas 2.16]. We had not been long settled in
this place, before my wife was taken sick, with every
symptom of the consumption. She was under the Doctor's care
about four months. On the whole this was a year of great
affliction, and severe trial. We moved no less than three
times, and that a considerable distance, besides all our
sickness. God, however was gracious unto us, and sent us
help and comfort.
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